And then the phone rang....

One year ago today I was at the gym (the last time I was at the gym coincidentally) working out. We were 9 days away from flying to Hawaii on our "We-Can't-Have-A-Baby-So-Fuck-It-We-Are-Going-To-Hawaii Trip." Eyes shut on the treadmill concentrating on the music. I'm still kicking myself in the ass that I didn't write down what song I was listening to at the time. But I open my eyes to check my time and there standing next to the the treadmill was LeAnn, a friend of mine that I work with. She had my cell phone in her hand (as I had left it back at my desk while I went and worked out over my lunch). She had a weird look on her face, "Here, Merle (my wife) is trying to get a hold of you." I knew immediately what it was, I just knew it. We had a meeting with our case worker the night before and it was an interesting meeting where she was asking really specific questions, like would we still be willing to meeting with a birth mom if it was a legal risk situation (meaning not everyone had signed the required paperwork to start the adoption process yet) and if we needed to, could we drive 3 hrs to meet a birth mom, could I do that with my job? Things like that. So I stopped the treadmill before I shot out the back and I called Merle back. We had been chosen. A baby boy was born on January 17th, here are the stats, here's a little info about the birth parents, could we drive 3hrs west to meet the birth mom two days later? My initial thought, I need to leave work, we've got so much to do. I need to see Merle, this needs to happen in person, damn I'm sweaty! We had gotten the call we'd been waiting for over a year to get. We had spent just under a year in the waiting pool, many people wait much longer. I little phone call and EVERYTHING changes, just like that. More on the 9 day whirlwind to come.

1st Birthday

Today is B's birthday. One year ago today we didn't know you, didn't even know you existed, hadn't gotten the call that we'd been chosen, we were oblivious to you. But since that time, you've become our world and I can't imagine this world without you. Love ya bud!

2010 in 5 pictures

Last year was amazing. There was so much going on, I wanted to challenge myself to see if I could represent the year in FIVE pictures, let's see how it shook out:

This is a picture of me being scared shitless. This was taken on February 3rd, and that is the first time I ever held my son. He was 17 days old. We had just gotten the call the previous week on January 26th. I had just taken 3 weeks off work to be with him and my wife (Merle). I had just turned our office into a make-shift nursery. I had just bought a Travel System (car seat / stroller combo) and registered for a bunch of baby stuff I had no clue if needed it or how to use it the night before. This was supposed to be the morning we were to fly to Hawaii for the "Fuck It, We Can't Have A Baby, So Let's Go To Hawaii" trip, instead we borrowed our friends mini van, drove 5hrs west with our parents to pick up our son. It was literally the best day of my life so far. BUT, I was scared shitless.

What better way to make it official than to get it tattooed on your body? The is me and the man, the myth, the legend: Bentley James. Out of all my artwork I've got this is still my favorite. Josh from Big Brain killed it. I absolutely love this picture. B is roughly 3 months old and already a looker. Seriously the coolest kid I know.

This is by far my favorite picture of the year, and not because I was the one that took it. I could seriously stare at it for days. Merle is my inspiration and my rock through this whole process. She is such an amazing mother to B. It has been my honor to be able to share this journey with her. I love the quiet thoughtfulness in each of their eyes.

Not only was this a big year in the fact we added to our family, but Merle and I also celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. This picture was taken off the balcony of our condo in Phoenix, AZ. We went there for a long weekend with my parents. They came along to watch B while we went to the Jack Johnson concert. Amazing show. Amazing trip. Amazing condo. I picked up the N!kes at the outlet mall in Phoenix, for like $22. Sweet deal! Such a great trip all around. B flew for the first time like a champ! We all had a blast. Might even turn into an annual thing.

This is my latest piece. Again, by Josh at Big Brain. Again, he killed it. All I told him was I wanted an old school anchor with a "Family" banner. This is what he came up with and I was blown away with the outcome. Family is what keeps me anchored. This year we became a family. It really rung true for me when we started getting Christmas Cards that addressed us as the "Socially Awkward FAMILY" instead of just "Socially Awkward and Merle." 11 months into it and it takes a Christmas Card from my Aunt Lucille to make it click for me. We are a family. After B's name, this is another one of my favorites.

There you have it, that was my year in 5 pictures. Granted we've got a few hundred more I could have chosen from, but these were the ones that stuck out with me. 2010 was a big year. Here's to hoping 2011 is bigger and better.

Decree; i.e. Who The Fuck Are You?

This was a private blog, where I would come and bitch, basically, about anything and all that was my life at the time. We had been trying, unsuccessfully, for over four years to get pregnant. We did it all. The fertility treatments, the shots, the praying, the procedures, the screaming, the crying, everything. I was pissed. I was negative. I was an asshole. After our 4th and final roller coaster ride on the Fertility Express, we were done, cashed in, broken, tired. It was Christmas Eve 2008 and we were supposed to find out the next day if we were successful. We were at midnight mass and I prayed, hard. I didn't pray for a baby, I just prayed to be put on the right path, to know that all the shit we were going through was worth it. We got our answer the next day. We were supposed to be on the path to adoption. We were excited. We FINALLY felt a little in control, so we got into the adoption pool. This blog then changed a little, there was a little more pep in it's step, a little more hope. Christmas Eve 2009 and we were in the pool for a year, still not picked, but still optimistic. Then in January of 2010, the phone rang, we were chosen. THEN the real roller coaster started. That was almost a year ago and so much has happened. This private, black hole of a blog has been deleted and sitting dormant for a year. This will now be my public blog about being a new parent, an adoptive parent, a music lover, a tattoo lover, a shoe lover, and a bearded hubby who loves his family above all others. Welcome, and enjoy.